Bing Boy
I had to wake up early for a video call appointment regarding my disability payments. I’ve finally been approved to start receiving them since completing a Year 12 (senior) subject. The call started over 30 minutes late, and there were constant technical issues on their end—her microphone was off, she couldn’t see me, and the video kept freezing. Eventually, I was told to visit one of the main office buildings in my city.
Thankfully, my mother agreed to take me out for lunch afterward. We don’t get along well—she chose our abuser over everything, even after he drugged, starved, tased, and punched me for “entertainment.” We became homeless because of him, yet she still defends his actions. I stopped talking to her for a while, which led to constant arguments. Recently, she broke down drunk in my room, begging me not to hate her and to give her another chance. Now, we go out once a week for two hours.
Today, my younger sister joined us. The company visit took less than 10 minutes, which we were relieved about. During lunch, my sister complained nonstop and suddenly claimed to feel sick, forcing us to cut it short. The moment I was being dropped off, she miraculously recovered.
I’m not a big fan of kids, but I try to be kind—I’ve given chocolates and arcade plushies to family children and hosted movie nights for them. My sisters, however, test my patience. For example, my sister recently threatened to stab me during dinner if I didn’t return her phone. My mother excused it by justifying her actions with her ADHD and autism, despite my reminders that I also have ADHD and autism, as does our other sister.
I’ve been trying to play Slow Damage (currently on Taku’s route), but I keep having psychotic breakdowns during gameplay, so I’ve been avoiding it. On a brighter note, I’ve connected with someone new. Initially, I was warned they were “horrible,” but after hearing their side, I don’t agree. He’s been kind and patient, explaining things without babying me.
I’ve also realized that when someone harmful enters my life, I trauma-bond with fictional characters (Towa and Rhaenyra, my beloveds). No, I won’t name the new one.
I need to focus on schoolwork: coding my app, finishing five A3 art pages, and completing psychology assignments. A and B grades are calling my name!
Remember Patients, Life isn’t always easy—family struggles, mental health challenges, and difficult relationships can weigh heavily on us. But even on the toughest days, small moments of kindness, understanding, and self-care can make a difference. Whether it’s setting boundaries with those who hurt you, finding comfort in a game, or reaching out for help when you need it, remember that your journey matters. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Keep pushing forward—you’re stronger than you think.