Suppressed Memories
Good Afternoon Patients!
I've come to a realization—mostly from what others have told me. When my brother asked for the document about my groomer, I looked through it and realized I don't remember a lot of what happened during that time. In fact, there are big gaps in my memory from that period.
I think I was in a bit of a denial stage at first. This kind of memory loss happened a lot when I was younger, so I thought it was just a childhood thing. But it happened again when I was assaulted by my friend. During that time, I didn't feel fully present—almost like I took a step back from my own mind and just drifted through the weeks until I finally told my friend what happened. I haven't experienced something like this for years—not since I was a child—where months at a time just disappear from my memory.
I'm still trying to process how I feel about all of this. Right now, I don't feel comfortable looking through the document in detail. I know what he did, and I know he didn't change even after I gave him a second chance. But I can't recall many of the smaller things that added up over time.
There was also a period when we weren't talking, and I know I hurt some people during that time, but I don't fully remember how or why. There's an adult who dislikes me, and I can't even remember the reason. My friends dislike him, and I feel uncomfortable seeing him too. Honestly, it feels like I blacked out for a couple of months.
My memory is still pretty bad, but I'm working on it as I recover.